Heterosexuality has it’s rewards, but these very rewards are crappy. It’s the primitive urge and appreciation of the female human form, which in itself is wonderful. I believe in being open with people. So, I have the desire to tell every attractive woman I meet how beautiful they look. I don’t actually do this because to be told this something by men whilst walking down the street minding your own business is annoying and very easily becomes harassment with repetition. In any case, how a woman looks, in terms of whether their physical form is attractive to someone or not, is largely outside of their control. It would be amazing to be able to complement people on contents of their soul, but this is unknown without getting to know the person. I’d love to talk to get to know, but there isn’t enough time to talk to everybody.
If this wasn’t bad enough, the primitive part of the male heterosexual brain is constantly assessing the female form and desiring a sexual encounter. It’s really annoying, it gets in the way of genuine conversation. for example you can be having a perfectly pleasant conversation and for a split second the primitive brain takes over and sneaks a furtive glance at a part of the female anatomy, often at inappropriate times.
One doesn’t want to deny ones own sexuality, but it gets in the way of other functions, allowing it free rein makes one very creepy. There seem to be many men who get around this by using a variety of strategies to conceal these feelings, I don’t like this as it is simply dishonest.
I want to form committed serious relationships with women with reciprocated desires. If there are no reciprocated desires, then friendships can then develop. The sexual desire for female friends of mine passes over a short time, because the primitive urge learns that an intimate sexual relationship is not going to happen. I still know that person concerned are physically attractive, but without the urges. The basic attraction and the intellectual attraction are actually entirely separate aspects of the person.
There seems to be generally a lack of understanding amongst many women of this basic male sexuality. there seem two main strands: One, that once a chap expresses sexual attraction that it is always there and that it doesn’t change, that the chap is always seeking something. Two, that even if in a committed relationship the chap will still have the primitive brain sizing up other women and this is entirely separate to the commitment to the relationship. I do find that women who have had issues around being an outsider tend to have a better appreciation of the differences in the opposite gender.
the other problem is the ruddy brain chemistry, once the though of being attracted to someone exists, some rather basic chemicals get into the brain, causing restrictions of access to the parts of the mind that are non-primitive. This is so irritating as it’s kind of the one aspect of yourself that should control and suppress in non-sexual situations.
Final point, sometimes the fact that some women happen to be attractive to a large number of heterosexual men and some to a small proportion , tends to exaggerate different aspects of their personality, and usually in a negative direction.
I would love to hear any perspectives from others of any sexuality.